Chimpoo Simpoo Fake World Tour
A SUGGESTED OFFICIAL CHIMP-OUT SCALE
Presented for your consideration by G. Kay
Chimp-outs, like hurricanes, tornadoes, and other natural disasters, are best scaled by category, in ascending order; for instance, a Category 2 Chimp-out is more severe than a Category 1. The scale includes five categories. CAUTION: Unlike weather phenomena, chimp-out categories are not predictable with any degree of accuracy, largely due to their tendency to escalate without warning and skip categories; for instance, a Category 1 Chimp-out can instantly escalate to a Category 4, bypassing Categories 2 and 3. Also, any level of Chimp-out, up to and including Category 5, may spontaneously erupt anywhere at anytime, often for no apparent reason.
CHIMP-OUT CATEGORIES
Category.1: Typified by hooting, hollering, ooking, eeking; normally incorporates a copious amounts of arm-waving, head-bobbing, chest-pounding, and other posturing, and inevitably includes copious amounts of profanity and usually escalates the threats of violence.
Category 2: Very similar to a Category 1, except it is accompanied by thrown objects and the small-scale destruction of property.
Category 3: Includes most or all elements of the previous categories, but escalated to hands-on physical violence and may include gang attack, robbery, or large scale destruction of property.
Category 4: Essentially a more severe Chimp-out overall than a Category 3, 4 is often accompanied by weapons, multiple attackers and inevitably results in rape, sodomy, and/or severe injury, up to and including death.
Category 5: The most dangerous level of Chimp-out possible, typified either by multiple or highly-aggravated fatalities, the latter including but not limited to one or more of the following: burning, boiling, mutilation, skinning, and cannibalism.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Each category (except 5) moves up one level if the perpetrator gets naked at some point during it.
(I'm the one who wrote this, but if you want to share it, please feel free; just stick my name on it.)
Fake World Game
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